Yikes

I am so stressed right now. Ugh, everything is going downhill. My parents think that I'm a useless delinquent, and, ugh, I don't even want to detail. I just need to rant. Sorry if you think this is a waste of space. I think this is very usefull at the moment. Although I feel ashamed of spamming on my blog--Wait, what am I saying? Loosen up!!!! Okay. I can do that. Here goes!!!!

RANDOM, WHACKY, CRAZY SMILEY IN ACTIVATION.

CAUTION!!!!

When cows laugh does milk go out their nose?!

Nyahahaha!!!!! I'm INSANE!!!!!!!!!!

Shut up!!!!

Oho, this reminds me of a conversation I had with myself!!! Funfunfun!!

It went like this:

"I love you!!!

I love you too!!

You're the coolest person I know!!

Yeah, yeah, whatever; but seriously, we're BORED!!!

BORED?! Hm...I never would have noticed!!!!

Boy, what a waste of my time!!

You mean OUR time, right?

Yes, yes; whatever the case may be. AAAARRGH!!!!!

Ooh, I liked the dramaticism indicated there, buddy!!!

I just knew you would!!!

You mean 'we'.

Stop it!!! You are SERIOUSLY annoying me!!!

Well, stop annoying yourself, then; sillyhead!!!!

Just be quiet!!!!

You be quiet!!!!

Hush up!!!!

Shush up!!!!

Calm down!!!

No, I hate you!!!

Oh yeah?!! Well, I hate you!!!!

I hate you more!!!!

I HATE YOU MORER!!!!

I HATE YOU MOREREST!!!!

I'm not talking to me ever again!!!!

*closing my mouth because I'm not talking to me ever again, either!!!*"

Ugh, I'm so stressed I think it's messing with my brain!!!!

Stress!!!!

STRESS!!!!!

STRESS!!!!!!

STRESS!!!!!!!!!

STRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

STRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*hyperventilating*

*heart pounding in throat*

*ears ringing*

*eyesight fading*

*freaking out*

*gasping for breath*

*thump on the floor*

*twitching uncontrollably*

*dramatic music in the backround*

Everything is still. Nothing moving. Nothing living.

DUN

DUN

DUUUUHHH!!!!!

Wow!!! That was more fun than it should have been!!!!! I think I'll do this more often!!!! HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Seriousness

I think that I need to tone it down a bit. My dad warned me not to put too much of myself on this blog. He doesn't want someone, like a future employer, to be able to find something "bad" or "revealing" about me. Kinda paranoid, but you can't blame him--he's a computer programmer of sorts.

I'm glad that, looking back, I have written thought out posts and flavored them with my thoughts. I simply don't want to have the pressure of writing something serious every time I post. I want the freedom to blog about whatever I want. Maybe I'm being paranoid too, but I feel pressured to write things with a purpose. Perhaps I'm doing it to myself. If that's the case, I don't want to be the one to limit myself. Writing serious things is fun to do, and it's good for you. But random, fun, and silly things are good for you as well, so don't become a stiff--like I almost did. I'm giving this advice to those who might need it, so if it doesn't apply to you; forget it. I've noticed on a couple of occasions that when I say something even slightly critical about a subject, people often take it as if I was criticizing them. Which I wasn't. Bad communication.

And here I am, being serious again!!!! I need to loosen up, and I'm proof enough for myself. If I seem to be writing silly or foolish things on this blog, remember this post. I'm trying to improve myself, balance myself out. Bear with me. I'm going through a very serious and tough stage in my life right now, and this is how I'm going to cover it up and deal. Just thought I ought to clue you in. Have a good day!!! Don't hold back, even if you are self-conscious about what people think(which by-the-way is a silly thing to do)!!! YAY!!!!!!! IT'S SNOWING!!!!!!!!!!!!

Evaluation

I know a lot on this subject. I get evaluated all of the time. I try not to evaluate people often; because I know that I don't know the whole story, so therefore I am most likely wrong. I don't want to make the same mistakes people make over and over and don't learn from. That's a human conspiracy.

If what I say is insulting or unreasonable to you: tell me about it. I want to fix my problem if it's there. You'd be helping me, and I'd find your view interesting. I'm open to independent thought. Try me.

At school I find myself in a position, where I just recently learned, I am being watched very closely. I'm even a topic of conversation. I found this discovery unnerving and surprising. I am just glad that I gave nobody any reason to hate me or dislike me in any way. That I'm a reasonably good example. People have their opinions on me, and I don't care what they think. Being viewed as a good person is important for me, but I'm not desperate to change their opinions. If they think I'm a bad person, that's too bad for them. They're wrong.

Many of you have your own opinions on me. You might think I'm ditzy, stupid, obnoxious, or annoying. Those are some narrow minded views, but I think that from how I used to be on this forum you've got reason to think that. Don't be quick to judge; it goes both ways, remember that. The fact that one judges is a reason to judge someone. Twisted concept. I'd just like you to know, if you have formed your own opinion on me, you are wrong. I don't know anyone here, (except for three people with limited knowledge), who really knows who I am or what I am like. But that is my fault and choice. Ever thought that being overly-optimistic might be a mask? That actually helps some people through their day, and I've actually kept someone from suicide before. It's not a bad thing. Or, just because I'm a "SBO", and "popular"(so called); that I am shallow or stupid or mean? These are stereotypical thoughts that might be flying around. They are wrong. Get over yourselves. I'm just a normal person just like anybody else. Except, I've decided to do something with what I've got and do it well.

I don't like to judge people. I have a high standard, yet my expectations are zero until I get to know a little about them. I'm not expecting anybody to be nice, friendly, smart, responsible, sensible, or good; because lot's of people aren't, and they don't want you to be condescending to them. People are to be treated at their own level. Although you should treat them with respect, it's only fair. I don't think that I know people's motives for doing what they do, or how/what they think, or what's best for them in their situation--whatever that may be. It's unfair to judge for that reason. Even though people naturally think that they do what they do for a good reason, even if they might be wrong, it's not right to immediately suppose that what they're doing is wrong and you are right. You may not be as smart as they are, and you're not in their personal situation. Treat everyone with respect, and you will receive it in turn. That's ideal and how I like things.

I have a critical view of myself. I have many contradicting characteristics. I think I'm humble and honest. Then, I also am proud and vain. I'm not going to tell you what I think of myself. What I think is in my head and I will only force it out if I think it will do some good. It would take me a long time to explain myself anyway. I'd rather save time and say something short and sweet. Even the most brief responses can have deep subliminal meaning. Think about that.

I try to be good, but a person has every right to be critical and cynical. So do I. I was told by someone who I respect that they seem to be getting better and better, while I seem to be getting worse and worse. They were wrong, and had judged too soon. I have heard it said, "Better to keep your mouth shut and leave them wonder about how smart you are, then to open your mouth and remove all doubt."-or something to that basic implication. I was not getting worse. I am more than I show, and that's basically all you need to know about me.

Try your best to be your best, and view the best in other people. It might be ignorant, but in this case, ignorance IS bliss. The world is a happy place if people are only as good as they are, or can be.

Have a good day. Merry Christmas. Happy New Year. Good luck. Remember to smile!!!!