Seriously though...-Very exaggerated

My dad is going to rip out my soul with a paper and or plastic straw!!! Really!! So my dad told me last year that he would let me try out for SBO. Although, there was one condition. I have to get 4.0's ALL YEAR!!! If I don't, they will kick me out of office!!! Then, I will never be able to leave my house!! Oh, wait, I don't get to anyway. I guess that's a plus? Anyway, we got our midterms today, right? Guess what happened? I DIDN'T EXACTLY GET PERFECTLY STRAIT A'S!!! Who does, though? I mean, in the past years of my scholarly life, getting perfect grades wasn't hard to do. My parents have grown a standard for my grades, and if they see my grades now, I wouldn't be writing this. I would never be seen, thought about, heard about, or cared about, ever again!!! My parents are SERIOUS!! OUCH!! Oh my gosh!! Lightning has just struck my brain. In other words, I have just had an apostraphy....I mean, and epiphony!!! I'll just run away and jump the Canadian border!! No, that's too far away...I know!! I'll jump the Mexican border!! Yeah!! They'll never see it comin'!! And that would work too!! Because, not to brag or anything, I SPEAK SPANISH!! Almost fluently, even! Oh, yes!!! Thank you!!! Boy, I'm just EXPLODING with good ideas!!! I guess you could say that I'm just full of it. It's all how you look at it, I guess!!! But I love my dad. He is the best. I couldn't ask for somebody better. Anywhere. He is the voice of reason in my house. It just also happens to be that he is the voice of dicipline in my house, too. I suppose that it gives him a sort of "bad rep", and that I need to overlook that. I would like to close by saying I LOVE MY DAD AND I THINK THAT HE'S THE BEST PERSON THAT I'VE EVER MET OR EVER WILL MEET AND I HOPE THAT SOMEDAY I CAN BE HALF AS GOOD AS HIM BECAUSE IF I CAN I WILL SURPASS EVERYBODY'S EXPECTATIONS FOR ME!!!!!! And yes, that unpunctuated, obnoxiously long run-on sentence was necessary.