And then, there was luck

Okay guys, this is a story that I wrote for english. I hope you guys like it. It's TOTALLY open for editing, even though I already turned it in. Oh well! I'd also like a better title for it; something intriguing, you know? This story is written in the ancient language of "Beble", if you wanted to know what it was written in. It is also to be read imagining the nararator having a very mellow and calm voice. Well, here goes nothing/me!!

Hello. I am Namasde. I keep the balance of luck. I don't view luck as "good" or "bad". It's luck. However, I will refer to it as luck for thee, simple minded human that thou art.
Before time; before space; before McDonalds, Microsoft, and Walmart; there was Guam. On the giant, powerfull world-power of Guam; there were two special personages. And behold, they were bestowed with powers.
For behold, they were annointed before they were created with the blissful punishment of bestowing luck. They were blessed with two types of luck. "Good" and "bad", or however thou wilt.
The one was bestowed with "bad" luck. And behold, he was called Bernard. And it came to pass that he was an bipolar-albino-pigmi. And lo, he had sweet black dreads. Yea, and they were gnarley. In the days shortly after he was "brought in", he was joined with a voodoo-doll called Kaletchi. The doll had a mind of its own, and from the that day Berny(for it pleaseth mine soul to call him Berny) was born, Kaletchi was a bad influence on him.
The other was bestowed with "good" luck. And behold, he was called Lo Mein. And it came to pass that we was a giant, Thai, boy. And lo, he had awesome, spicky, red hair. Yea, and they were also gnarley. In the days shortly after he was was "brought in", he was joined with an abnormally large cricket called Wicket. For behold, in his past life-time he wast a "DJ"(wicket-wicket). Wicket was blessed with the ability of speach, and wast a very good influence on Lo Mein.
Now and behold, they both went forth unto the same kindergarten class. In the beginning, they both quietly spread and passed on their own type of luck. Pretty soon, for the children of Guam elementary were intelegent-being part asian, the children of the island found out about their "gifts". The two young five-year-olds were appreciated at different levels, according to their personalities/skills. Lo Mein became "Big boy on the playground", and joined the most popular sports team. He was the Captain of the Ping-Pong team. He became conceited, arrogant, stuck-up; although the students spent so much time worshipping him that they failed to notice.
Berny became an outcast. He sat by the green dumpsters during recess, specifically the ones next to the rosebush from hell. He would slit his wrists, daily, finding out that the wounds dissapeared immediatly after being cut. This intrigued the five-year-old-freak. He found out that since he was doomed by luck forever, he could not be killed. He assumed that it was the same with Lo Mein. Kaletchi-who slit Berny's wrists for him-also found this tidbit of information interesting. VERY interesting...
And so it came to pass that the two were naturally split apart. They were at opposite sides of the luck consept; opposite sides of the "Kinder-Society"; heck, they were even at opposite sides of the classroom! But the latter was about to be changed...
Their teacher, in the blissfully ignorant way all teachers are, made a new seating-arangement. Berny and Lo Mein found themselves as DESK BUDDIES!!! Yea, it was bad. For there came a day when Kaletchi persuaded some of the students to push Berny to his limits. They went too far. Berny decided to handle it badly, and took it out on Lo Mein.

It was the showdown of Kindergarden history.

For verily, verily, I say unto ye, that never before had Lego Blocks and Playdough been abused and manipulated in such a way.

For behold, it was a blood-bath.

And it came to pass that Berny and Kaletchi used their powers to control the Legos to make a fierce, samuri-dino-warrior. Wilst, Lo Mein and Wicket molded many butterflies out of Playdough. And behold, the powers of the two five-year-olds were impressive. The positive and negative energies that had been used to creat those mutant-toys canceled eachother out, destroying all of them. That's when the two children and their side-kicks realized that the battle would be decided by strength, not skill.
That's when they resorted to hand-to-hand-to-doll hand-to-bug leg fighting. It was a gruesome battle. I will not go into details, for such destruction cannot be re-told. But, in the end, Kaletchi had taken out Wicket, and Berny had Lo Mein pinned. Wilst Wicket lay, in pieces on the floor, Lo Mein weeped. Something in the deep sadness and depression expressed by said weeping stirred something in Berny's heart. He had an emotional change. His only desire was to do good. He then re-analyzed the situation. He realized, that for the greater good, he would have to end it. So, after a second thought, he karate-chopped off Kaletchi's doll head. He, like Lo Mein, began to weep over the loss of his life-long friend. Knowing that he only had seconds before the death of Kaletchi returned him to his previous anger, he returned to his assault on Lo Mein. He quickly punched certain pressure points on his captive, putting Lo Mein into cronic sleep. He only had seconds left, and pushed the same points on himself.

Then there was only their unmoving bodies, and un-pierced silence.

Then there was but perfectly pure silence in the classroom. All of the children, and the inhabitants thereafter, of Guam had fled the Island, and hidden on New Zealand. There was nothing moving, nothing breathing, nothing living. Then the chi of all four of the bodies arose. It shot out of the open-mouthed-corpses and gathered together in a sparkly, golden, cloud. In that cloud, a being began to be formed. And lo, it became an little, orange, man. Yea, and he was adorned with purple genie pants, purple hair, a purple turban with an orange gem on said turban. And I say unto all of ye, that that being was the very first oompa-loompa. And behold, that first oompa-loompa is, and was, me.